can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
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Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
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He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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