please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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