hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize