She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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