Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
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I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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