dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
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Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
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Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So much rum. So many feels.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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