Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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