Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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