I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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