You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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