I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize