So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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