I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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