I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
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i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
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I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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