I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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