she was so not down for the gang bang
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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