You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
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Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
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You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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