If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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