you would pick up someone in the library
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize