my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize