Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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