Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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