I smell stomach acid.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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