I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize