Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize