I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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