Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize