i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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