she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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