My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize