i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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