guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
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They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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