I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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