I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I had to cum in my sink.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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