i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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