Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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