He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
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At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
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I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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