i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize