i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
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Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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