He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize