You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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