Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize