i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize