I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize