69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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