the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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