Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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