He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize