What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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