Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
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pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
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I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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