i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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